Yesterday was one of those days, you know which ones I'm talking about. Those days when nothing really significant happens and you start to get that nice fuzzy calm feeling inside that almost radiates from you. Then you step off the curb and it goes from "my uneventful good day" to "the day I got hit by bus." Yeah it was that day.
My workload yesterday was pretty minimal. I pretty much put my self in neutral and coasted through. I was out by ten or so and had plans to meet Chocolate Snatch's boyfriend out and have a few drinks. Actually I'm not sure if boyfriend is the right term, but this is my blog damn it and I will humor the thought. While waiting for him I started on of my favorite games, in which you pick a celebrity that would play your friends in the movie of your life. If you have never gotten drunk and played this game please do so. Also keep Shannon Doherty and Tara Reid in mind at all times as everyone has one of these two in their movie. Superman had texted that he was out and about may drop by my watering hole. I said sure in passing thinking it would amout to nothing. Chocolate Snatch's boyfriend never came which in hindsight is probably a good thing. If I were looking for muscle he'd be at the top of my list. I was chatting with Fritas when through the door strolls a very tall handsome guy trailed by a short skinny one. My boyfriend and Twinkie. Fuck!
This kid had some fucking nerve. I know that this was Superman's way of trying to get Twinkie to offer the olive branch or white flag, whatever, but here in my territory I am the fucking lion king. Within minutes everyone at the bar knew who was who and what was going on. Twinkie tried to talk to me about anything and I would have given him a very aggressive answer had I not been pouring straight bourbon down my throat. I may not think straight, but I like it straight. Within ten minutes I reached my goal, I was too drunk to drive and therefore needed to be brought home. I kissed SM goodbye and gave my half assed hug to Twinkie and darted out the door.
Ok, maybe it's not as bad as it sounds, but between the booze and the rage I blacked out until I made it home. There is no telling what things I may have said or done in a hostile environment like that, though I imagine I would get a text or call this morning informing me I should start doing damage control. So much for not living my life like Lindsay Lohan. Call me crazy but I'm not over the tire slashing so I'm sure I'm not ready for a cease fire. I'm the one with the power and control now. I'll keep you all updated.
Bradley James
Read Meg's new piece for Refinery29!
11 years ago
1 comment:
Let me be the awesome friend that fills you on on ur trip to the car....well u had rather awesome conversations with urself....i mean u asked and answered for urself...(awesome)...then not even being able to walk a staight line u began to laugh almost as if insane every few feet but still being able to burst into random song in-between the laughn...("theres a spider crawling on the wall behind u...") ring anybells!! hehe xoxo
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